Hippity Hip Hop WTF part 1

At one point MC Hammer tried to become Gangster. He stopped wearing parachute pants and changed his named to Hammer. Just hammer. His next video had him at a massive pool party. He wore a zebra striped man-thong. His big dangus flapped around wildly. His butt muscles were shiny and muscular. Even with all the sexy women in the video, all people could see was his man thong and package. There was way too much Hammer time.

They came up with a second video shortly afterward. This video was more gangster, but not gangster enough. He had worn parachute pants for too many years. That, combined with the zebra thong, made continuing his career as a ganster rapper…impossible.

That being said, I think the first video, the raunchy one, is awesome. It makes me want to party and go swimming.----Grimbol

NEW SLANG--Part i

Tarzan that shit: To swing on a dick like a vine while howling like a wild beast.
That shit jetsons: Meaning a dudes stuff is tall and clean like the houses in the Jetsons.
Slime Castle: Sex.

Here is a picture of college kids. 

Gorcoff Slang.
My buddy, Gorcoff, is a slang master. He was raised in Shelter Island, NY. Its an evil place. I think it might be run by a heartless, gold obsessed Fish God. But the kids there come up with really good slang. Gorcoff has evaded the grasp of the Fish Gods and has brought his beautiful slang to the rest of the world.
Here are some Gorcoff classics:

Little Big Horned: To be hungover, or tired, or bored. "I'm so Little Big Horned right now."

Glove: To be stoned. Since being stoned is awesome, this word can be used as and verb, noun and adjective. Example: "That thing is so glove, cause I'm so gloved right now. Man, Glove can be intense."

Nair Action: When a song is so good it makes you want to play air guitar and go "Nah nah nah nah!"

Squirt Wagon: A hot girl. Etymology. I used to go to hippy college. The common term for hot girl was Smoke Show. Gorcoff liked that. Over time the term changed. It went from Smoke Show, to Smoke Wagon, to Wagon, to Squirt Wagon.

Get Swilled:  Getting drunk.

Dellied: Getting drunk.

Get Swoll: to get big muscles when working out.

Dump Em Out: Show your breasts. This evolved to being slang for just having fun. Its like a battle cry.

Charley: A Hot girl. Etymology  Gorcoff went to college with an old guy named Charley. Charley had a staring problem. When ever a girl passed by he would stare at her ass and legs and boobs super obviously. Charleying then became the term for staring a chicks. When I first heard it I thought it was a Vietnam reference. 

Going Hog: Making passionate love.

Yield: Lots of food and or money or anything really. "Look at all this yield."

Here's a picture of Gorcoff and I drinking when we were young and dirty(well, younger and dirtier).

Bootleg round 3

These are all bootleg movie posters from Ghana. I love them. I love them so much. Most of the art is ridiculous. Most of the poster have nothing to do with the movie. Some look great though. Some are really creepy looking. Its crude, but have a lot of charm. Or maybe I just have bad taste. Or maybe I have awesome taste and you all have stupid brains that don't like cool things, like Bootleg movie posters from Ghana.
Anyway....
Here are my favorite posters.

See, look at this shit. Its poorly drawn but, somehow, completely creepy. I like it better than the original. 

I wish Cujo looked like that. It wood have made the movie so much creepier. And that mom. Dear lord. She will haunt my dreams for eternity. 

Where's Freddy? 

That boat eats people. It chews on them and cuts them up. That's what ghost ships do. 

I don't know what to say here. 

Ok, here is a good example where the Ghana bootleg poster is better than the original. This poster is scary as fuck. Its awesome. It makes me want to like that shitty movie. 

I dont remember the scene where the floating chainsaw attacks at car. But I want to remember that scene. (Update: Vince Kramer, author of Gigantic Death Worm, told me there is a flying chainsaw in Poltergiest 2)

Again, this is a shitty design, but its creepy and I think its better than the original poster. 

Is this a Terminator Valentines Day Special?

The best of the worst. I think this is a good one to end on. Holy God, what is going on in that poster. 

Look at all my PAINTINGSSSSSSSSSS.

This is Groovy Booby, a comic character I created back in 1999.

STAR TREK TOYS FUCKING

 The new Star Trek movie is so good. I can't stop thinking about it. My legs are shaking. I now know what its like to be a woman after having multiple orgasms. I want to watch it again. 

In the meantime, here are some pictures of...well...you know...

"Your robot dick is so big and hard and it smells like Grey Hound Bus. Is that weird? I don't care. I'm going to floss my teethe with this thing until it fills my belly with battery acid, MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Doctor, your labia majora and minora are covered in slime. I believe this is a result of me fucking you with my robo cock. Shall I proceed?"

"Please do."

"I wonder if she knows what my dick is thinking? She has a sweet little ass, but I kinda wish I could play with Worf's long ass ponytail while he chews on my massive cock and balls. "

"I loved you in Sister Act 2. You sang with the heart of a warrior."

"There is a warp core breach Captain. I have to suck this old ladies alien dick until my throat hurts."

"Fuck Reading Rainbow! I'm going to read your cock with the eyeball that's in the back of my throat."

"You don't need mutant powers to make it rain. I'm setting my cock to stun!"

"Is this what you humans call Karate?"

"We are so much alike. Fuck me slowly. Look into my eyes and don't look away. I want to feel like I'm falling into your soul."

"Oh shit! Cobra commander just beamed onto the Enterprise. I better suck on his dick. Maybe lick his nuts sack a little."

All toy fuckery photographed By Vince Kramer. 

                      Captions by Justin Grimbol. 

Arts from the future!

Bootleg-round 2

 Heheheh. I'll show you my pocket monster. Heheheh. Get it?

"I called 911 a long time ago!" Flavor Flave. 

I wish this was a real Transformer. Leonardo DiCaprio could do the voice. Wow, imagine that. That's heady. 

I appreciate the laziness of this one. I really do. 

Bootleg Toys-Round 1

I love bootleg toys. I love them more than normal toys. Look at these things. 

 Look at that combo. Genius. I wish the Justice League had a massive anime character in it.

Proof that metal is a product of the devil. 

Spiderman is sick of the city. He's gone crunchy, Vermont style. Mary Jane has grown her arm pit hair out. They're stoned as hell. 

See, Batman does have a super power---super skate boarding powers, motherfucker!

TWO SPIDERMANS! TWO SPIDERMANS! HOLY FUCK! THAT IS SPECIAL!

Arts I drew with my computer........

This movie gave me my first real boner. For real.